rebirth

after death comes rebirth. a new start. beginning of an end. i stopped writing during my darker days. why? i don't have any reason. i was always questioning why is it that i always have to hurt? always be the one who gives in? always the unlucky one. but one day phoenix came to me and i have decided to live again. it was a struggle to survive, to keep up. but i have to be strong. seems that hardwork is paying off little by little everyday. soon i will rise like the phoenix full of fire and desire to live. i have rebirth and so happy to be back.

hello.

fully dysfunctional

I am writing this to feed the rebel soul inside me that is still struggling to be suited in a mediocre world. I have been living in this so-called "world" and I feel so enslaved by it. That is why I started to rebel.
In the first place, this is not really where I wanted but I am trying hard to make myself fit in, and besides I don't have a choice, I need to exist in order to survive. I have spent gruelling days making myself to be safely there to be able to accomplish my responsibilities. But I never exerted effort. What for? The world that I am in now does not nor even will not recognize it at all.
This world favors what they think is popular and what feels good or let's say will do more good for them. They will never see your potential to be out of slavery if it does not favor the so-called gods. So I continued to rebel and lived a fishbowl life. Everybody watches my little peepshow but nobody notices the things I do.
For so many years, I've seen a lot. Unworthy slaves placed on pedestals, so-called gods who are testing their new got powers to lower slaves, and the usual dirty works. I know this would never change. So, I decided I could never make it accept me no matter how hard I try. I know I have to dance with them and dig in the pool of slavery. This life really would not work for me. But for now, I still have to embrace because i'm still powerless. Being enslaved is also my way out of oppression. Deep in myself I also deserve to be in a pedestal. And I'm gonna work hard to get out of this rotten world.

011108 friday, 12.05p

i am really getting addicted to blogging. like morphine that enslaves, creating posts is being cathartic. downside of this new hobby is that i no longer have time for my folks, and less sleeping hours. i don't know where this would take me but i still continue to be a slave of my pen. as i go on thinking, i gave birth to three more blogs:

1. nine lives- almost immortal as we could call it. this blog is my journey to the paranormal. since i was a child i could feel there's a connection.
link: idreamofimmortality.blogspot.com

2. a day in the life of harajuku 5 - this blog is dedicated to my 5 most inspiring friends. i wanna make a film documentary about them, but since filming is quite expensive, i thought of an alternative. using pen is as good as camera lenses.
link: adayinthelifeofharajuku5.blogspot.com

3. signature poison- this was the original title of my pilot blog. but as i go writing, i was thinking of concepts. and a dark title wouldn't suit my first blog, so i decided to have this blog dedicated to my dark writings and rotten thoughts.
link: signaturepoison.blogspot.com

hope you'll enjoy my peepshow!

010808 tuesday, 11.15a

huh... another day is done. exhausted from those dreaded calls and negative people around. why is it that humans are created to be not satisfied? to want more and give less? haaaaay... my brain's all drained. i can't think of anything to say. i just hope tomorrow's gonna be a little bliss. need to have my eyes shut. and my mouth in silence. shhhhh...

shiny hair recipe

Here's how to make your homemade avocado hair mask:

+ mash one very ripe avocado
+ 2-3 tablespoons of olive oil
+ banana and an egg together in a blender.
+ blend until the mask has the texture of a cake butter, with no chunks.
+ apply one quarter of the mask to dry locks for 10 minutes.
+ shampoo and condition as usual.

On being gothic...

To be considered a goth, entails living a gothic lifestyle. Being a gothic does not merely deal with the elaborate and uncustomary way of dressing. It is more of a passion for the unusual things and defying the dictates of the society. The exterior aspect is not a basis to be considered a goth.

Gothic Make Up: Look Pale and Dead
Have someone ever caught your attention because she just seemed to look like a walking corpse because of her make up? You may find her insane but her make up is in fact a symbolism of a lifestyle or a sense of fashion which is known as gothic fashion. Yes, a pale look combined with dark dark eye make up is called gothic make up. It goes with a remarkably out of this modern world clothing.
Gothic make up is in fact quite difficult to achieve as compared to any everyday make up. This is the reason why gothic people are considered creative and highly fashionable. The process of achieving a gothic look entails time and patience. Since gothic make up is basically focused on the eyes, still hands are important in achieving excellent goth eyes.

Gothic Jewelry: Accesories That Speak
Jewelry or accessories create an added impact in any clothing. Jewelry or accessories make a look more appealing. Although gothic clothing are already appealing on its own right, adding on accessories particularly jewelry, enhances the look, making it more appealing.
Gothic jewelery are not different to any other jewelry. They range from necklaces, rings, bracelets and earrings. However, what is unique and exceptional about gothic jewelry is the fact that they are more elaborate in designs, sizes, and shapes. In terms of design, Gothic jewelry are inclined to what can be said as "dark" or mysterious designs.

Gothic Hairstyle: Stand Out Hairstyle
Being gothic means being different and standing out from the crowd. It is more of a lifestyle than just mere fashion. It means living a life which defies gravity. Being gothic is a turning away from the dictates of the society, a reason why perhaps it shall remain as a mystery why they are so.
There is no such thing as half gothic or one fourth gothic. When you say gothic, you embrace the culture fully. You live it and dress like it from head to foot. When you speak of head to foot, it means including your crowning glory, the hair.

Gothic dressing means out of this world dressing. Others might even perceive these people as weird or insane. Some might even speak of them as people from the dark side or people who were born in the past but are living in the present. This is because their style of clothing can be inspired by the medieval or romantic periods.
When you talk about medieval or romantic period inspired clothing, this means black or dark elaborate dresses. This also includes tons and tons of laces.

Gothic Clothing: Creatively Uncustomary Clothing
A person's sense of fashion and style reflects his or her personality. It is a form of art which creatively expresses your personality and lifestyle all at the same time. The way you dress up speaks of individualism. It is something that is unique to you. Every person is given the right to self expression and fashion may just seem to be a perfect ground to practice such expression of one's self..
While most people would choose to dress up in cool colors, gothic people would rather wear black. They may seem to stand out and be perceived as a defiant of customary dressing, but this people are actually brave souls who are highly in touch with their beliefs and personality.

be best dressed

What will I wear? That is the question I always ask myself whenever I'm goin' out and do some errands, party, go to work and even before bedtime. Funny, but true. I'm sure almost all women in the world and even men are experiencing the same hassle I go through each day. Dressing up is a big deal for us because we always want to set our best foot forward. Dressing up gives us empowerment.It builds our confidence. So I thought making up this collage of Hollywood's best dressed women would in some ways help pick up some ideas that may be useful in creating everyday Haute Couture. You need not take all the trends that you see in fashion magazines, instead use it as a guide on how you will create your own look. Dressing up is not about fashion. It's is the art of the wearer.

be your own doll! experiment!

010608 sunday, 5.30a

out from my dreaded shift, i come to my sanctuary. hmmm... i'm beginnin to realize i am no goth nor punk gal. i think i am the pink goth punk hippie. imagine how does a person like that look? well...let's meet. yikes! im overbreak! brb....

MAKE-UP TIPS

here are some useful tips in applying make-up:

+ skin should be clean and hydrated before any blush touches your face.
+ GET NEUTRAL= dot liquid concealer under your eyes, around your nose and anywhere else that belies a perfectly even tone.
+ set concealer with translucent powder. use blottin' paper for touch-ups instead of powder.
+EYELIGHTS= the thicker the eyebrow, the more youthful you look.
+ GET GLOWING= bronzers: for pale skin, use the ones with more pink and peach tones rather than browns.
+ lips: go for pinks
+blush: use a peachy powder blush

more to come...

010508- saturday. 6.30a

just had tuna pesto and now im havin cheesecake for dessert. what a day! i'm bombarded with so many calls. workin in a call center exhausts me the most. but do i have any choice? i need it in building my empire. my lifestyle business. so this year, i better save up. hey, need to go. im late again. overbreak!